I have in past posts covered various ideas of how God might speak to us, and I have also described several people’s experience of asking God for answers and the answers they received. Various denominations teach various ways of praying from meditation, to chanting, to memorized prayers which are repeated at appointed times, to prayers made on one’s behalf by others, etc. And again I would ask the reader to consider all these forms and how they fit or do not fit with the Image of the Divine which you have embraced for yourself. If you don’t know if they fit I encourage you to try these different forms and find your own experiences with them. I don’t believe there is a right way to pray. I think you will have to find the way that brings you into intimate and reliable relationship with the Holy One.
Once I had a conversation with a friend where we agreed that the “trap” in prayer is to make the Santa Claus prayer. This is sort of praying for things. It seems to me that we need to be clear in ourselves what it is we really need: to pray for a home not a house, for transportation rather than a car, etc. and have faith that the Divine Provider will sort out what best provides for us. I remember really wanting a baby, but instead being given the Divine nudge to go to graduate school. As it later turned out after she was born my circumstances changed, and I needed that degree to provide for that baby. The Provider had known the right order for everything to unfold as it should.
Part of praying in my experience is reflecting on my current situation and being able to name in what ways I need help, and to name the truer need – not the outer package of that need. It also means seeing my emotional state and recognizing when I need to ask for comfort, recognizing when there is fear, anger, worries, or confusion that I need to turn over to the Divine Comforter. It can be way to easy to try to carry everything going on in one’s life oneself, or to try to make a partner or parent be Godlike in what we want from them. This is when it is good to offer up the burdens or the desires of our heart and then let go of the outcome and be able to listen for God’s response. This listening would be the kind of listening as described in previous posts.
Praying for others, or intercessory prayer as it is called in some traditions, takes into account some of these same qualities (avoiding Santa Claus prayers on behalf of other people) and offering up to God our concerns for others and then letting go of them. As a therapist I carry concerns for many people; if I kept them all as mine to carry I would loose my mind. It is the Sheppard that makes it possible for me to be with people’s pain and not be overpowered by it. Prayer for others is also remarkably effective. There are studies where people in hospitals have been put in two groups: those not prayed for and those who had people praying for them. Those who were prayed for healed faster and did better. My partner tells a story of when he had been diagnosed with a tumor pressing on his inner ear and was scheduled for surgery. Many people prayed for him. When a finally scan was done to give the surgeon an image to work from, he was called by the doctor to say that in a month’s time it had shrunk to almost nothing and that he no longer needed surgery!
There are of course many different traditions which suggest that prayers be made in a certain way, calling on God by a certain name, using certain objects or postures or rituals to aid the prayer or make it more powerful. If you find yourself drawn to these traditions it will be important to learn these ways of praying and to be sure that the methods of a religion you are attracted to really assist you.
