Nothing for Granted

I feel very blessed to have had a lot of contact in the last year with Native Culture.  I also have had to fight through westernized ways of thinking and living on the earth to fully grasp what I see in Native Culture.  One of the profound lessons has been about gratitude.  I come from Swedish ancestors which as a culture, it is not big on “please and thank you”, so for me to observe at a Native event that every person who takes the stage thanks oh at least 3 other people, was at first hard for me to understand. They thank each other for things like arranging the chairs, making the food, a good speech, etc.   In short for things that white people rarely say thank you for and in a sort of class based way take for granted.  The task oriented part of me wanted to just get on with the event. However as I began to let it in, and when I reflected I realized how much more gracious, welcoming and relationship affirming this way of living is.

And this was for me the real ahah when I realized that nothing is taken for granted.   It occurred to me then that in original tribal culture if you were dependent upon nature for food and weather that supports abundance then you are both very attuned to what the weather, animals and plants around you are doing, but you also don’t take for granted that you will eat.  You are grateful for the abundance that you are part of the web of life and you understand that how you treat that will effect your future survival.   In other words, if you take it all, there will not be any to go to seed and provide for next years bounty, so you learn to live in caring relationship to that which is around you.  Also, when you are dependent upon the sensible and timely actions of the rest of your tribe for your mutual survival then again you are appreciative of the things they do that make your life better. Taking nothing for granted.

I watched a man come out of prison once after 30 years.  He could be brought to tears by being able to touch a tree or finding a pine cone on the sidewalk.  Even when someone addressed him unkindly or some snafu occurred he was still happy because he said “today was still a better day then any day in the joint.”  Little children also have this same awe at the world they find, and they also have a lot more joy than most adults.   Buddhist refer to this as “beginner’s mind” by which they mean that if we drop preconceptions, expectations and grasping behaviors we are able to be present to this moment, exactly as it is, in a way that enables much gratitude and awe and even joy.

I knew a woman that was going blind, and even as she did she invited everyone she knew to join her in what she called the “thanksgiving game” which she explained was finding as many things as we could to be grateful for.  I was thankful for the invitation but soon saw I sucked at this “game”.   Primarily because I was not thankful for obvious things.  I was not thankful for my health because it was good and it felt like it “should be”.  I was not thankful for my college degree because I got it a long time ago and worked hard to get it,   ETC ETC.  There was a lot of privilege and expectations that left me with big blind spots.   I felt in fact daunted by how I was going to learn to be better at being grateful.  

But this idea of taking nothing for granted….sort of tips that whole problem on its head. It makes very obvious how to notice what to be grateful for.

Feng Shui: really?

Feng Shui...whatever. Next Fad.  So then two friends stand in my home and whisper about bad Feng Shui and a colleague with whom I share an office completely rearranges the office (without my permission) stating she did it for "better Feng Shui".  I am furious and say I'm going to change it back.   "Just one week" she begs, explaining that she had did it to emphasize better abundance.  "Just give it one week and see if the phone is not ringing off the hook with more clients".  I find this completely unlikely but agree to leave it for a week in order to end the conflict.  But bizarrely at the end of the week I have been swamped with calls of new clients....now what to think?

I let one of my two friends above lend me her book on Feng Shui which of course is based upon "ancient Chinese wisdom".  I look at the Bagua chart, a sort of tic tac toe grid that one superimposes over ones house or a room:



abundance/finance           reputation/fame            romance/love


health/family                   center/spirituality          creativity/children


self-knowledge/skills       career/work               influential people/travel


I consider the idea that all ancient wisdom must have some value to it or it would die in public awareness.  I consider the 9 areas list and conclude that these are important areas of life.  In fact if one were to list 9 things people care most about or consider most essential to a good life, I must admit this list would be it.

The book lists types of objects to emphasize or expand good fortune in each section, and things which are generally bad feng shui anywhere (dirt, chaos, disorder, dead things...well that makes sense).  Most of this seems nonsense to me.  However, as mentioned in my last post, at that moment in time I was trying to find a partner.  So I review that chapter of the book.  It talks about putting paired objects in that section of the house.  I think of that will be easy I will just move my paired objects to there.  However, after a quick search of my house I discover to my shock that I have only some salt and pepper shakers, candlestick holders and one box my sister gave me with two birds printed on it.  There are however in my home many objects that celebrate the beauty and power of the individual.  Even the painting by my grandmother that hang throughout my house, none have two of anything in them....ahh this is even a multi-generational message in my life.  I have been taught self-sufficiency and independence, even isolation, but not cooperation, partnership or duel  engagement!

This was my first real lesson in Feng Shui.  It is not really about objects, it is about seeing your own consciousness.  In fact I was most persuaded by a place in the book that said: "Do not be ruled by this, have fun with it."  Having had some success in the romance department I decided I need more income in my life, so I turned to the "abundance" section.  First lesson: notice it says abundance not money or income?  As is always the case with Feng Shui one is invited to symbolize the desired outcome.  What does more income actually look like?  What do I want money for?  Good questions.  I also find myself strangely freed.  I was raised in a religion that emphasizes simplicity.  The pursuit of material wealth is bad and not of God.  But this word abundance turns that on its head for me.  Abundance I recognize is of the Divine Provider.  The Source is where all abundance originates from.  So I am freed to consider how to represent this in my home and in fact how to actually accomplish the increase in income I needed to provide for my family.  In fact Feng Shui warns about houses with missing sectors and how to "correct" for this.  As I thought back on homes I had lived in I was amazed to recognize that throughout my mostly poor adult years I had lived in countless homes that were without this sector!

In the influence people section I enjoyed creating a collage of the people who have actually influenced me and their quotes.  Also posting pictures of places I want to travel to.  I have enjoyed thinking about how I think about my self-knowledge, that which I have and that wish I would have.  Same for my "fame" section.  It was also fun to put up pictures of several generations of my family in the family section and equally fun to create a work space for creative endeavors in the creativity section.  I have become many times more creative and recaptured a creative part of my heritage in so doing.  For many of  my clients the real work of feng shui is about clearing away the junk: the messes of an undigested life.  It is an outer work that matches the inner work.

What questions will feng shui open about your life?

Manifesting Things

I started with manifesting people.  I had just opened a private practice, and I had a small support committee.  One of the people on it also had a private practice.  She told me when she started that she had had a safety net: she delivered newspapers for a year.  But she also told me:  "don't worry the clients will come.  Just visualize them coming.  I do.  Just imagine their feet walking into your office."  This seemed like weird advice, but I was worried enough to try anything.  I tried it; nothing happened.

But then after about 6 months when things were going a little better, I had some middle of the day spaces that it seemed no one wanted.  I thought:  "I wish maybe a low income client who is not working and available in the middle of the day could come then."   Within an hour two low income clients available in the middle of the day called.  Wow!   Well coincidence....but I thought: "I would like to see a couple; I wonder if I could manifest that?"  By the next day the couple had scheduled and come to see me.  For months I wondered if it was a coincidence, but pretty much within days, any time I tried to think who I would like to see (including issues they might bring) it would show up!  I have for 10 years now had a busy thriving practice.  I wondered why the advice of my collegue had not worked in the beginning and then I realized.  She had said: Visualize shoes walking in".....well I had absolutely no interest in seeing shoes!  I wanted to see people.

But one of my best examples of manifesting things occurred around this same time.  I wanted to get a favorite board game I remembered from childhood for my daughter.  The game Masterpiece has cards with famous paintings on them which people bid for and try to win the most money - but it has the great educational value that you familiarize yourself with great masterpieces.  I looked in several stores for it, but I could not find it.  Finally, I looked online for it and discovered to my disappointment that it was no longer manufactured.  Drat!  Why do they drop all the good ones?  So how was I going to get this game?  Ahh I thought, maybe someone with grown children will have a yard sale and they will be getting rid of it.

Shortly thereafter, I was driving home through the alley behind my Condo with my daughter in the car, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big box was sitting next to someone's garbage with apparently some board games sticking out.  I stopped the car immediately and hopped out.  And there it was: Masterpiece!   But even more mindboggling when I got it home, was it was in mint condition!  It has never been used; the money was still in the original plastic bags.  This sort of event is so precise that it defies (at least for me) any thought that this is just a coincidence.  That incident made me a true believer that you can manifest what you want in an abundant universe.  I eventually even manifested a husband this way, but that is another story.