What does Your Soul have to Tell You?

The title would almost seem to imply that we are sitting having a conversation with our soul which is not what I mean.  However, if the soul is God within, this at minimum suggests a different path to hearing God.  Sometimes I have the experience, described elsewhere, of sitting on the banks of the River of God.  This is the experience for me of listening to my soul and its connection to eternal time, and all the rushes of humanity thru all time, humans grasping for survival, growth and joy.  It is a profound experience when I can sit on the banks of the River of God.  Usually I am dropped into this by some sort of reflective experience that connects me to a sense of the eternal human struggle: big crowds in timeless cities, some reminder of the various ways humans have gone about some basic task, or the timelessness of human rituals of love, childrearing, and death, or some reminder of the universality of human traits/behaviors across cultures and eras.  Sometimes I can get on the banks of the River of God from simply sitting quietly and alone somewhere where I can hear the indistinguishable sound of human voices at a distance: not close enough to make out words or even emotion, but just the babbling brook of human existence.

And if one believes in reincarnation the soul also holds the life wisdom of many lifetimes and so therefore holds the greatest truth we know.  Those who believe in reincarnation will say that some of the things the soul remembers are things like how we died, accounting for "irrational" fears of heights, water, things around the neck, etc.   But for the soul to serve us well it must remember more than what it fears, it must also bring us towards other familiar souls with a willingness to do it differently, to do it better than last time.   And it must bring us to this life with a goal and a purpose.  

If you believe in karma not as punishment for past failings, but as an attempt to live more wisely than last time, then the soul can come with a goal.  Examples of this: I remember dying in two different war;, I came to this life not only born to two pacifists (too guarantee my own intended path?) but with a determination to work for peace and disarmament.  I know someone who says she knew as a child she would be in a life threatening car accident...which she indeed was suffering a severe life altering brain injury.   She says she came to learn about power, and about the not-wielding of external worldly power but rather of self-directed power.  Another person I know has been chronically ill for several decades; she has struggled against not being able to "do" things in the world but finally realized she's been left with one always present endeavor: the focus on her spiritual life.   She realized with some surprise that if she had come to focus on the spiritual life she could not have set the table more perfectly.

If you think also of what it is like when you act in accord with your conscience, when you take action for what you deeply within you know to be right, even at great cost....this I think is also listening to what our soul has to tell us.  I have known many people in my life who were called to acts of civil disobedience, as have I been.  Quite commonly is the holding of the question: should I do this? and some spirit filled experience of answer - some inward prompting which will not quit.   This I think is the soul speaking to us, of the Truth it knows, as well as about our life's purpose.  This is an aligning of our outer actions with our inner knowing.

"the Should's" whispers of the past

Therapists commonly recognize that when we get in the realm of "shoulds" we are in unfortunate terrain.  With shoulds people commonly beat themselves or each other up.  Should is the language of failure, disappointment, unmet needs, guilt and manipulation.  Commonly we think of it as undesirable self-talk or as a tool in a power struggle between 2 people.  But all of these conceptualization are fairly present centered.

Today I was working with a client on a heavy feeling of responsibility she chronically carries - a definite "should" about how she must be in the world.  Somehow I thought to ask if the sense of burden to provide for day to day survival was something her parents or grandparents had actually carried. (since she does not really have this burden in the present.)  She then revealed a very real and difficult struggle for survival that her mother had in childhood.  Such a curiosity, how we can wordlessly carry down the fears and traumas of past generations.  I remember a man telling me once how he realized he always held soup spoons in a strange way and then he remembered how his father, who had survived the concentration camps, but lost a finger there, had held his spoons this same way because of the missing finger.

Is it unconscious memories of parental actions or words - is it fears and angers so deeply held that they hang in the air- breathed in by our offspring- transmuted in the breast milk - or the the blood - held in the memory of cells?  Is the memory actually like a hologram in the egg and the sperm that unite to create us?  (The egg was there inside her mother even when her mom was a scared child.)  And if the shoulds are simply cross generational memories carried as survival imperatives - can we release them to the past to live in the present?  What is the karmic effect of releasing such bonds?  As the daughter relaxes can back in time the ancestors somehow know their struggles will be successful?

In Gratitude to our Ancestors

Recently I walked through the Highland (Scotland) Folk Museum.  This is an outdoor museum with a recreation of an 18^th century “crofters” village, as well as another section with a farm, home, post office, general store, tailor shop, wood shop, school and bus from 1890-1930 era all with original items inside each.  The crofter village has holmes with three foot high stone walls and tree branch and sod roofs.  We were soberly told that in the night, even in the winter they could not keep the fire going.  People worked hard during the day to tend sheep, weave fabric, grow, gather and prepare food.  Quarters were tight and simple.  It looked like a hard life.

There is a song that Libby Roderick sings where she talks about how we are all descends of dead people: “I come from a long line of dead people.  I come from a tall pile of bones. My people lie sleeping all under the world….”  I always thought this a somewhat strange song…in fact a bit morbid.  But I now have a whole new appreciation of the song.   I suddenly realized that every one of us living on this planet is here because our ancestors worked hard to survive.  Some made it only far enough to reproduce before dying in childbirth or marched off to war, but they worked hard to survive. Because they did survive long enough to have children, and those children then also struggled forward to the next generation….here, centuries later, stand you and I.  Even many of those who did not reproduce made significant contributions to ensuring the survival of the species.

It is not a remarkable thing that we all have the capacity to reproduce.  What is remarkable are the things our ancestors have done to survive.  From early people who lived nomadically: working to find enough food and to avoid wild animals, dehydration and vicious weather in order to survive.  To tribal cultures who struggled to survive squirmishes with the neighbors, and illness born of a lack of understanding of basic hygiene.  To the countless men who were marched off to wars that they may or may not have believed in to fight for land or a way of life.  The untold generations of women who were treated as second class citizens all their lives with abuse, poverty, and hardship raised their children.  To those who were born into and lived desperate and pleasureless lives as slaves or servants and simply dreamed their children could have better lives.  To those who endured months of seasickness and storms to come to a new land: fleeing famine, war or political oppression and again hoping things could be better.  I suddenly see this long line of dead people that Libby was singing about.

When you bring it down to the generations of your grandparents, or great grandparents or those who first immigrated to this country on both sides of your family, you may know some of the specifics of the sacrifices and struggles that occurred.  Somehow we take this for granted.  We assume, I think, that of course they struggled to survive because that is the instinct that we are all programmed with deep in our DNA.  But what kept them going?  What role did hope, love, and Spirit play in their endurance and determination?   Slowly we have made generation by generation, a more comfortable life, a more humane life.  Our work is not done by any means, we have far to go….and our descendents count on that.

First I think we must acknowledge the debt of gratitude we owe to our ancestors for our very existence, and second of all we must ask how we are doing on assuring the survival of the species so that someone several hundred years can be grateful that we struggled forward?  I have written before about the River of God….this endless procession of humanity, human’s struggles and innovations; of passion, sorrow and going forth…that is the River of God.  It is the march of the eternal.   And for me when I see this march I also feel the Creator’s steady presence woven through it all.