In the book Illusions, the main character of Richard Bach’s
novel gets a Messiah’s Handbook which he reads verses of throughout the
book. These snippets indeed carry real
wisdom. Some examples:
“Remember where you
came from where you’re going, and why you crated the mess you got yourself into
in the first place.”
“Learning is finding
out what you already know”.
“The simplest
questions are the most profound. Where
were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? Think about these once in a while, and watch
your answers change.”
“You are led through
your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being an
that is your real self. Don’t turn away
from possible futures before you’re certain you don’t have anything to learn
from them. You are always free to change
your mind and choose a different future, or a different past.”
Collectively what I got out of these bits of wisdom and the
book itself, at the tender age of 23, was a sense that if we let go of external
symbols, rules, others expectations, and a sense of the unweilding “facts” of our lives that we
can find our true selves and work with that “clay” throughout our lives. What goes with that for me is a sense of all
of life being an exciting adventure, where learning is always possible and
where mistakes really are just learning opportunities. It means claiming growth as a birthright of
all humans. It has also meant that it is
really important to look carefully at the story we tell about our own life and
the power that story has to shape the way we feel about and experience our
lives. With clients I see this all the
time and am very sad sometimes by the profoundly sad and limiting stories
people tell about their own lives and the way they will steadfastly cling to
that story even while bemoaning the unhappy and unpalatable results of such a
story. This also has tied back to my
offerings of last month about how we involve the divine Spirit in this continuous
process of creating the life we lead.
This has also lead to my own unique approach to New Year’s
resolutions. Every New Year’s Eve I sit
with my journal and try to remember where I came from and where I’m going. The very first time I did it I tried to list
what I thought I was learning from the events of that year. Then looking at that I wrote identities I
felt I was working on developing: wife, mother, therapist, activist, physical
body, spiritual being, etc.
Then for each one I wrote down who I wanted to be more of in
the coming year. In the years that
followed I would look at my list of intentions and write about how I did on
them and why, and new learnings and then
write down my intentions for the next year.
So for example, as a therapist I want to make time to pray
(privately) for my clients, as a spiritual being I want to be more in touch
with gratitude and the expression of gratitude and so forth. It is also
possible to deal transformatively in
this process with any identity we don’t like.
For if you notice any negative story you tell about your self (I’m too
busy, I’m disorganized, don’t have enough friends,…whatever) then it is
possible to tell a different story. To
in your statements of becoming for the New Year to positively address those issues. (“I move purposefully, and at measured pace
throughout my life creating order and meaning in my life.”)
I remember once rather innocently describing this process to
a man in my church and him saying: “Wow,
I always saw New Year’s resolutions as being about setting goals, but I have never
thought that I can have goals for how I live, for who I am. That feels really good”. It does…you might want to try it.
