Many religions have a tradition around discernment - some do discernment of gifts, for others it is discernment of leadings (of the spirit) or callings. This is a discernment of what God wants us to do in a given situation or with our life. Generally, the distinction is made between an intellectual decision making process or a "worldy" one. Both are seen as coming out of individual will or secular values.
When people come out of traditions that do not put forth a discernment process it can be confusing to know how to do spiritual discernment. Some traditions suggest that people turn to clergy or gurus for this sort of discernment. All traditions that I am aware of suggest that people test their leadings with their faith community to make sure that they are not simply engaging in delusion, fantasy or personal ego.
I write here about the discernment process of Quakers (or Friends) as it a process easily duplicated by anyone. Quakers form a "clearness committee" of those considered wise or experienced in the spirit when trying to make important decisions like whether to marry, to join the church, to make a significant career decision, or if lead to some sort of "witness" or leading on behalf of social justice. The group enters into prayerful silence out of which the person with a leading or calling speaks about the leading as they understand it. The group considers this prayerfully and asks questions. The questions are not leading questions or oratorical questions, but are simply intended to help the person look more deeply. They also share reflections or "light" as it is available to them. It is NOT an advice giving forum. The group acts to confirm or deny (I am aware of at least two incidents where the clearness committee did not find the person "clear".) that what the person is feeling seems true and rightly lead to the clearness committee as well.
Thomas Kelly, a famous Quaker theologians writing in the 40's, wrote a whole chapter on discernment in his book A Testament of Devotion. Parker Palmer a modern day Quaker theolgian wrote a short book entitled: Let your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation. More recently Quaker Nancy Bieber wrote a whole book on discernment: Decision Making and Spiritual Discernment: the Sacred Art of Finding your Way.
Here are Kelly's much quoted words about how God particularizes a concern is us:
"I dare note urge you to your Cross. But God, more powerfully, speaks within you and me, to our truest selves, in our truest moments, and disquiets us with the world's needs. By inner persuasions God draws us to a few very definite tasks, our tasks, God's burdened heart particularizes His burdens in us....
In my deepest heart I know that some of us have to face our comfortable, self-oriented lives all over again. The times are too tragic, God's sorrow is too great, man's night is too dark, the Cross is too glorious for us to live as we have lived, in anything short of holy obedience. It maybe or it may not mean change in geography, in profession, in wealth, in earthly security." (Amazingly he was writing this during WWII because it is a timely now as it was then.) He goes on to say:
" Little groups of such utterly dedicated souls, knowing one another in Divine Fellowship, must take an irrevocable vow to live in this world yet not of this world, kindle again the embers of faith in the midst of a secular world. Our churches were meant to be such groups, but now too many of them are dulled and cooled and flooded by the secular."
I first read these words when I was in my early 20's and I think reading it saved me. Like many people of faith that have strong social justice traditions I absolutely could have died on too many crosses! If I had tried to act on every issue or cause that I could see was unjust or important I would have run around in a frenzy or burned myself out in short order. Or I would have simply given up like so many people do, deciding that I am only one person to small and insignificant to change the world and thus decided to sit at home or take up tennis and leave the worlds problems to "leaders"...(whoever those people are! ;-) Instead I experienced the incredible relief of realizing I had only to listen for what God had tenderized my heart to and given me the gifts to respond to. I took great comfort in the phrase: "God draws us to a few very definite tasks, our tasks." I understood this to mean I could pay attention to just one issue (or the closely related/ intersectional ones.) And as the world has become more complicated and more at risk it has been even more of a blessing to focus on just what is given to me.
It was such a relief to have this "permission" to not do everything! It has meant over the years that I could simply be grateful for the work of my comrades (some known some not) who work on other issues that I care about but am not called to. I celebrate their victories fought for all of us, and I know that they rely on me as well to do my part on the issues I work on and they do not. Singer song writer Libby Roderick expressed this very beautifully in the song Cradle of Dawn. "Sunset in my country, Sunrise in mine...forces facing us are terrible in deed...in the morning I will plant another seed and while you sleep it will take light. ... I feel you there in the dark...I will hold the light up while you
sleep."
Nancy Bieber in her book first identifies ways the world asks us to think about decisions and then offers faith based ways to test discernment.
The worlds way:
Is this safe? Will this build security for me and mine?
It is it likely to be sucessful? How are we defining success?
Does it lead to independence?
Will I gain in status or prestige?
Will it bring happiness?
Alternatively she says faith based discernment questions would be:
Is this decision sacred? Is it holy?
Is this "mine" to do?
Will this decision do the least harm?
Is this decision congruent with others we have made wisely?
Is this Love's way?
For many the path to discernment will not be as "upbeat" or clear as this sounds. In Parker Palmer's book he repeats an often repeated Quaker wisdom that some times we find direction from the doors that close behind us. He also talks about the role of depression in discernment...as well as patient waiting and the importance of knowing ourselves deeply.
Kelly identifies 4 steps to being faithful to leading:
1) The first step of obedience is the flaming vision of the wonder of such a life, a vision which comes occasionally to us all...this vision of an absolutely holy life is, I am convinced, the invading, urging, inviting, persuading work of the Eternal One.
2) Once having the vision, the second step to holy obedience is this: Begin where you are. Obey now....Walk on the streets and chat with your friends. but every moment behind the scenes be in prayer, offering yourselves in continuous obedience.
3.) If you slip and stumble and forget God for a hour, and assert your old proud self, and rely upon your own clever wisdom, don't spend too much time in anguished regrets and self-accusations but begin again, just where you are.
4) The fourth consideration: "Don't grit your teeth and clench your fists and say, "I will! I will!" Relax. Take hands off. Submit yourself to God. Learn to live in the passive voice- a hard saying for Americans - and let life be willed through you. For "I will" spells not obedience.
Many decades ago I sat with a Catholic priest who was helping me with discernment. He listened carefully to the outpouring of details about what I had been doing and what I was confused by and he asked me two simple questions:
1: Does it give you joy?
2. Is it life giving?
These two questions have steered me right over and over again for many, many years I would add one more question:
3) As best you know if the prompting from God or from some other source?
One last piece of advice from Richard Bach in his "handbook for Messiahs"
"And try not to take yourself too seriously."
