In May, I went to see the Rev. Jon Nelson. Jon is a 78 year old retired Lutheran minister, and he also has a heart of gold and the deepest, most life embracing laugh I have ever heard in my life! Jon is a fighter of the good fight: he has had a prison ministry for 40 years, he helped create a black studies program in a small town in Missoula, MT and also low income housing, he rowed out in a boat into Puget Sound with his 80 year old mother to block the nuclear submarines and committed other acts of civil disobedience as led by God. And with his loving wife they parented 14 children: 3 of their own, the rest foster children who they cared for and adopted (and all of whom he considers equally his own).
Jon and I were talking about an organization we started together several decades ago, and my own wonderment about whether it really made a difference or not. He said: "Ahh, but you planted 'the seed of the Redemptive Possibility'- the rest is in God's hands." There is probably no better summery for Jon's life. He did so much, but never with a concern for the outcome - just with a deep and abiding belief that God works through us for Redemption, and that the very possiblity of that is what it is all about. Redemption of course is an idea at the very heart of Lutheranism. I'm not a Lutheran, Jon and I are an odd pair in that regards. Yet he testifys to me, by his life, what deep and true Christianity really looks like.
I comment to Jon that he has channelled father energy through out his life - that between his 14 kids and the myriad of prisoners who have loved him and were so underparented in their lives that he has held up for others what a father's love is. Jon simply smiles and says: "To those who much is given, much is required." He explains how lucky he was to receive the deep love of both his parents and that he feels that simply filled and prepared him to give to others. Jon is this sort of "pay it forward" kind of guy. And again models what is possible when we live in the Redemptive possibilities.
I ask him for some parenting advise as I struggle with one of my teenagers and he has parented 14 kids - some of whom were in a whole lot of trouble. His wife sagely says: "Don't let them define you, and don't let them dictate your happiness." But Jon laughs and says: We have always gone at this so differently, and then soberly says to me: "Lean into the pain - yours and theirs - it is where the redemptive possibilities are." Here are two people who have been married to each other for 53 years and it is not hard to see why- there love bounces off each other creating more love.
As I drive away I am a bit sad because Jon's health is failing in a variety of ways. Ironically, this man who has the largest heart I have known is suffering slow heart failure. So I have this sense that I may have seen him for the last time. I turn on some music and Carrie Newcomber is singing.
"Leaves do not fall, they just let go....
to make room for life to grow.
A seed contains a tree to be.
Death is Life's refrain." (from the Song: Leaves do not fall)
Now I am at peace for I realize that even death carries those Redemptive Possibilities.
Post Note: Jon died July 23, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The Idealist's Agony - a poem
Striving for the highest good
Home sick for a land we’ve never been
Hungering for an oasis just beyond reach
Disappointed by the fall into humanity
No perfected man.
All, washed in the pain of pride, greed, fear, inertia,
apathy and coldness.
So much good achieved…always flawed.
Try. Try again. Better luck next time, version 2, second try, practice, improvement, set back, try, disappointment, try, hurt, keep trying.
Always trying.
Wired for optimism they say. Darwinian edge to hope, to keep trying,
To not give up.
Oh, my imperfect love, how can I keep from cheating on you
with my visions, my dreams for more, something more
complete, more whole.
Closer to Divine?
Oh, my broken, tarnished neighbors, how to not turn on you in wrath
and frustration, disappointment that you are not
my beloved community.
Oh, my Enemy, what power I give you by believing you are separate
from me, from all of us. By making you a receptacle of all our exiled parts to hold alone.
How do I walk among the half-done, the sweat, the broken promises
born of good intentions, the synchronistic moment, the passion,
the misguided attempt, the accidental success, the small kindness, the dropped ball, the over-engineered, the forgotten good idea and the lingering sweetness
….into the fullness of life.
No judgment; just is. Now—this moment.
No expectations. No preconceptions.
Just is; Now—this moment—the fullness of life
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