An Ocean of Love - a poem

Torn from my birth mother

  Too young

      Too young to know a Heavenly Mother’s arms,

No container to hold my tears

 To boundary my endless grieving.

God came later, in the male energy form of the Divine:

Initiator, driver, knower, truth finder, truth creator

How many more years till I would know the Goddess?

Comforter, nurturer, intuiter,  creator, lover.

Cry on the breast of Mother Earth she said.

The tears and sobs coming freely.

As I realize the healing of not just me, the individual orphan,

But of a paradigm – that sees us as separate from, above, master of

And then no longer separated from Her Love

Comes the Ocean of Love,

Touching into the endless memories of people loving me

Of the love connection between us all

The irrelevance of so many imperfect love vessels –

Yes it is incomplete love, but love none the less poured through these imperfect vessels.

And love not just present, not just immediately past, but I feel the love of my grandmother

And I feel the love of those who loved her who I knew only in pictures and

The people who loved them, unknown,  faceless, stretching back in an unbroken line of love,

Holding fevered babies, toiling in the fields to feed them, binding up wounds of loved ones –

Worrying, guiding, cherishing, celebrating the ones we love.

All this love has taken me in, no longer the match girl looking into the mansion from the cold,

For I now know that I belong to the Manson filled with this ocean of Love.

This timeless march of love.

That when those moments of feeling rejected, left out or without come

That I have simply to connect with that Ocean of Love to be again in that Mansion.

But what of fear, the insidious companion of 3 years of her dying?

The fear also needed the Goddess: the comforter, the nurturer,

The breast or the earth to lay upon.

There is a pause – a pause when we are not running , or

Fighting, or freezing,  - a pause before the breath in

A pause before the breath out

And in that Pause Goddess lives!

And in that pause is Eternity!

And in that pause is no fear.

Just as the Ocean of Love contains all Love from all time

So the pause contains whatever love needs

Comfort, connection, kindness,joy, excitement, love,

These are the Easter Eggs lay waiting to be found in each day

And I the seeker!