In Chapter 6 the Radical Acceptance of Desire Tara Brach says: "When I was first introduced to Buddhism in a high school world studies class, I dismissed it out of hand. It seemed irrelevant to my life - grim in its concern about attachment and, apparently, anti-pleasure. Sure, maybe we all suffer, but why dwell on it?" (p. 128) Tara's first reaction to Buddhism very succinctly summarizes my own first reaction to Buddhism. However,having known a number of Buddhist in my adult life and in the last decade beginning to learn about Buddhism, I like Tara, have come to understand what a superficial and incorrect first impression of Buddhism that was/is. As she later says: "The Buddha expressed this in the first Noble Truth: 'Existence is inherently dissatisfying'. When I first heard this teaching in high school in its most common translation as 'life is suffering,' I of course thought it meant life is nothing more than misery and anguish. But the Buddha's understanding of suffering was subtler and more profound. We are uncomfortable because everything in our life keeps changing - our inner moods, our bodies, our work, the people we love, the world we live in. We can't hold on to anything - a beautiful sunset, a sweet taste, ...because all things come and go." (P. 133)
I do recommend Radical Acceptance because so far of the works written about Buddhism which I have read it makes it the most accessible to a western mind. It is helpful that the examples are all of clients and retreat participants, other clueless westerns like myself, rather than ancient, venerable Eastern monks, who while very wise are completely unlike me. As a therapist myself I believe all people are either shame base or guilt based (dependent entirely upon your parents style of discipline as you grew up.) Generally we do not understand the other frame of mind. Tara's writing is very much to those who are shame based - as someone whose not, I did have to do some translation of those parts. For those who are shame based and western, this book will speak deeply to your soul.
I appreciate how her different twist on traditional Buddhist teachings which I have encountered else where made them more accessible to me. For example, in her third chapter - the Sacred Pause: Resting under the Bodhi Tree she talks about paying attention to the pause between the in breath and the out breath. All other instruction I've had on breathing as part of meditation have said to focus on in- and then out- which either board me, or got me too hyper focused as to unrelax my breathing and actually hyperventilate. Throughout this chapter she also weaves in a wonderful narrative about living with a pause between action and inaction - the pause of reflection... which for me somehow finally brought home the point of the whole thing.
The chapter on Radical Acceptance of Desire - also stands on its head the misinterpretation of Buddhism ( or spirituality) as a rejection of desire (and/or sexuality.) And instead talks about being mindfully aware of our desires as they arise. Instead of judging, rejecting or feeling them - being relaxedly aware of them, conscious of when we do - or don't act on them. Tara points out the great energy that makes up desire and says that when not fighting it or surrendering to it that desire is the source of great energy and drive within us which when joined with spirituality can move one in profound ways.
As someone who knows that fear is the thing which most quickly and reliably takes me out or relationship with God I also appreciated chapter 7: Opening our Hearts in the Face of Fear. Here she takes the concept of taking refuge in the Buddha (another concept until then meaningless to me) and transforms this in a very meaningful way as a spiritual practice in the face of fear - of "taking refuge in the truth of who we are". The very words are grounding to me - causing me to breath out - releasing the fear, returning to my truth self. "Our fear is great, but greater still is truth of our contentedness" she quotes the Buddha as saying.
Throughout her book, and especially in Chapter 10 on forgiveness, she reminds us again and again of our contentedness to all sentient beings and our own basic goodness. Such a message is either utterly new for some readers - or a balm to the soul for other readers. Forgiveness is something that most people I know struggle with - whether it is of self or of other. Tara points out how closely tied these two efforts really are. While I have previously learned the spiritual practice of the meditation of loving kindness -she ties this in a new way to the practice of forgiveness.
I had started a new prayer practice during the time I was reading this book so I'm not sure which caused a significant deepening for me spirituality but I recommend this book as a good entry into the New Year!
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